Happy 2008

Hey diddly ho, neglectorinos!

I fully intended to do a comprehensive review of 2007 but indicative of the entire year I failed to find the time or the inclination. So here is just a breakdown of the things that I liked and the things that sucked about the previous year.

2007 Good Things

Music: Jamie T's "Panic Prevention" was my fav. I also enjoyed The View, The Kooks, Arctic Monkeys, Travis, The Bees, Amy Winehouse, The Fratellis...oh, just check out the sidebar for a more comprehensive list. Or, lookie here...last.fm.

Movies: Pan's Labyrinth and The Darjeeling Limited

Books: Check out Goodreads; and for God's sake, if you are a reader and so inclined, add me as a friend. I ain't got none. Disturbingly, I have discovered that all of Possum's friends hate me.

TeeVee: The writer's strike sucks for the writer's and all, but man, oh man, there is no end of the goodness of to be found in the UK... particularly, The Mighty Boosh! I lurv Vince Noir! I wanna be a crimpologist! "Where can't you go with crimping?"

Ed-juh-muh-cation: I took two classes this past semester! I made "A"s!!! My Lit II teacher said that nobody has ever scored as high as I did in his 20+ years of teaching! Just in case any of you needed any confirmation of my brilliance. Lord have mercy, I sure needed the reassurance. I hadn't taken a class in over a decade and I was afraid my brain was fulled-up on random sh*t like The Mighty Boosh. In all honesty, my academic success probably had more to do with my paranoid overkill than anything else. That's my advice for the year...write lots, kids. You get "A"s when your teacher gets tired of reading.

Sports: Arkansas beating LSU, the FA Cup Final, discovering MyFootballClub.co.uk. Seriously, MyFC has been a blast; I've "met" lots of cool folks and we almost have a really cool team. Up the Fleet! I can't wait to go to a game!

Boyfriend: I have the best. Most all the good stuff wouldn't be possible without him and the bad stuff would suck much worse.

The Bestest: One of my bestest friends Marisa had a baby! Congratulations, girlie! You are going to be a great mama and I can't wait to see the little darling! He's the closest thing to a nephew I may ever have!

2007 Things that Sucked

Employment: All the drama at my old job...I'm glad that's all behind me now. Sooo, I guess this should really be in the above category. Although, I do dearly miss my regular visits with all the Charismatic Rats.

Sports: By far the worst was when Jose Mourinho left Chelsea. I still can't talk about it.

The Worstest: Saying goodbye to my grandmother, E.


So there ya go, folks. 2007. I'm sure I left out lots, but that's all the looking back I'm prepared to do. It's 2008! Hope that it's the best ever for all of you.

Happy Repeal Day!

Now, excuse me while I go get drunk.

You should too! If you don't...then that means you hate America.

Drumroll, Please...

Ebbsfleet United!!!

If I wasn't so sleepy, I would write more. I'm tickled pink!

www.myfootballclub.co.uk

Food, Critters, and More!

Or, A Few Reasons This Weekend Rocked

• Possum
• Lake House
• Deck Overlooking Lake at Said Lake House
• An Extra Hour
  
• Fried Catfish and BBQ Chicken
• Gas Fireplace
• Arsenal V Manchester United and Egg Sandwiches
• Dogs That Lay In the Middle of the Road
• Deer That Stand In the Middle of the Road
• Mr. Smith
• Ladybug Swarms
• Drunken Conversation In Which I Try To Convince Possum He Has To Die Before I Do, Because "Women Just Deal With Those Things Better" and I Don't Want Him To Endure the Agony of Having To Live Without Me.
• Vodka and Lemonaid
• The Razorbacks Win
• King-Size Bed
• Fat Friendly Roadrunner
• Remembering Life Is Good

Uhhh, Let's See...

Betcha thought I forgot about ya, didn't ya Internetty!?!?

I have been busy with real-life stuff that's frankly just too uninteresting to share. Maybe by now I have saved up enough semi-interesting stuff that when presented together may seem as though I have a life.

I quit my job because it sucked. I have been unemployed for four days, but I'm supposed to start a new adventure next Tuesday. Oh boy!

To celebrate my unemployment I got my hair cut and colored, a manicure, and a pedicure. It took over four hours at the spa to complete the overhaul.

Possum and I went to Fayetteville's swanky new movie theater last weekend. Malco's Razorback Cinema just opened and it's really nice. It's about damn time Fayetteville had a decent place to go see a movie!

We saw the much anticipated (by us , anyway) new Wes Anderson movie, The Darjeeling Limited. I just loved it. Everything about it was just so...pretty. I can say that in spite of the fact that Owen Wilson spent 99.9% of the time with his whole head swaddled in gauze and bandages, and what we did see was horribly disfigured...but hey, still pretty. If you don't already have India on your "must visit before I'm senile" list, you will.

And...if that wasn't keeping me busy enough, I am getting preciously close to being the owner of a British Football (uh, soccer) team!!! You know, me and about 50,000 other folks. I'm so excited I can barely stand it! www.myfootballclub.co.uk!!!

Internets, probably the next time you check-in I'll be able to tell you the story of my sucky job, the story of my new (hopefully less-sucky) job, and maybe even what team I own! Stay tuned!

"History is the set of questions we in the present ask the past."

I haven't yet, but I'm really excited to watch Ken Burns' new documentary "The War". Yes, I know. I never claimed I WASN'T a nerd.

There was a good interview on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Distraught

Where did you go, Jose?

He's still "The Special One". Just ask his wife.

Me...in 50 Years

The Catherine Tate Show - Nan

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

Demetri Martin is Cute

Demetri Martin + Travis=Goodness

OK, everybody...I'll see ya when I see ya. School has started and I am taking classes for the first time in over a decade! Lord have mercy! It's soccer time again, too. I'm a busy gal.

Venting My Spleen

I prefer not to dwell on the all-consuming horrendousness* that has consumed every waking moment of the week thus far. Instead, I choose to relish the one little ray of sunshine in my otherwise bleak existence. I'm number 1 out of 6 in my Fantasy Football(soccer) group!!! I'm number 29 out of all the folks in the Yahoo "Fans of Sunderland" group. I'm listed right up there with the Top 50, baby! Now, I'm not sure if this is indicative of any FF brilliance on my part, maybe it just says something about your average Sunderland fan. Either way, at this point I'm pretty pleased with the results of hitching my wagon to the Keane-O star.**

“If a player doesn’t want to come to Sunderland then all well and good,” The Guardian quoted Keane. “But if he decides he doesn’t want to come because his wife wants to go shopping in London, then it’s a sad state of affairs. It’s not a football move, it’s a lifestyle move. It tells me the player is weak and his wife runs his life.”

The Telegraph reported, “Keane’s recruitment campaign has been hit by a series of snubs and the former Manchester United midfield hard man last night vented his spleen.”

Keane said: “If there is nothing to do [in the northeast of England] then find something, because people who are bored are boring. Someone once told me that. People who get bored coming up to the North-east, they are bored because they are boring. It is nothing to do with the shops. Football has got to be the priority.”

http://goal.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/08/15/keane-o-vs-wags/

* Just stupid work sh!t. Nevermind the melodrama.
** Jose, no one can take your place in my heart. No matter how much spleen venting he does.

Forget Fantasy Football...This Is The Real Deal

This is my chance to prove to the world that I'm the next Jose Mourinho! For 35 quid I am now the proud owner of (to be determined) Football Club! I'll be sure to keep you abreast of the ins and outs of big time British football management.

The Dog Days of Summer Pop-Culture Extravaganza!!!

Okay internets, maybe I did forget about you. Sorry. In addition to taking life by the neck and attempting to give it a good shake like a terrier with a fat rat...here's the nonsense I have been attending to.

Knocked Up---Cute, but if you missed it in theaters...don't sweat it. It's more of a Netflixer anyway.

The Simpsons Movie---If you like the TV show, you'll like the movie. I went with two nine year old boys who thought it was the best, most hilarious movie they had ever seen. This resulted in a rousing rendition of "Spider Pig"...not once, not twice, repeatedly. On a more personal note, in the theater the nine year olds had to sit a couple of seats down the aisle from me. I am officially uncool.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix---I sure don't have anything bad to say about it. It's grimmer and more "real" than the previous films. I tend to prefer the flight-of-fancy quality of the third one though. No matter, you should be reading the books. Which leads me to where the bulk of my Potter attention has been focused...

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows---Ooo Wee...as disappointed as I am that it's over, I'm OK with how it all wraps up (epilogue aside). No spoilers here though.

Octopus by The Bees (known in US as A Band of Bees)---Perfect 60/70ish summertime music, but with just enough '07. Makes me think of The Rascals or Three Dog Night or something, but I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Check it out for yourself; it'll make you feel good.

Calling the World by Rooney---Here's some more goodtimesummertime music that Possum and I have been listening to continuously. Sounds like snowcones! (We are such 13 year old girls)

That's all folks.

Triple Seven

"Luck is probability taken personally"
Chip Denman

7
VII
Septuplets
Seven Seas
Seven Jeans
Seven-Card Stud
Seven Deadly Sins

Hope everyone is having the luckiest of triple 7 days. Here's my seven things.

1) I usually don't mention My Boy on this here blog, because I usually try to limit my post topics to the inane. But, I'm gonna use him to excuse my infrequent posts this summer. We have been busy with summer camp, soccer camp, day camp, etc. Augh, kids are SO time consuming! Bummer that ensuring his proper mental, physical, emotional and moral development detracts from my ability to compose long posts on such summer cultural phenomenons as the Drama Chipmunk and thoroughly debate exactly what sort of critter that is anyway??? Some things the world may never know, but one thing is certain...it's damn, damn funny.

We did finally make it to the Fayetteville Farmer's Market this morning. There's always so much good stuff to see and buy. It's worth getting my ass up on a Saturday morning. The quality is noticeably better than anything you can buy at the grocery store and it's comparatively cheap, cheap, cheap. Plus, you are doing your part about the whole food miles thing!

2) Sorta on the subject of luck/chance (and to continue talking about my offspring), My Boy has discovered statistics and the art of BSing(I can't imagine where he gets that from!). I'm never sure if he is telling me a fact he has learned or if he is making it up as he goes along. It's been an education for me, though. For instance, did you know that "if you took all of Homer Simpson's burps and put them together you could make a song nearly three hours long and never have to reuse a single belch"! And, "if Star Wars Clones were real, they would have multiple phalanges due to the growth accelerator"!

3) Congratulations to my friend Christy, who like half of the world's single population is getting married today! Surely, they are lucky in love. It's gonna take more than three sevens on a calendar for me, though. Like...finding at the end of the rainbow a four-leaf clover, a penny and a leprechaun shitting rabbits feet and hollering “They’re always after ‘me Lucky Charms!”. Then...maybe.

But, I wish HER the best of luck!

4) And, still more congratulations to Marisa and Wil who are expecting! A January baby...that's surely lucky!

5) Speaking of all these college friends...I was lucky last week to have dinner with Mandy. She's in Fayetteville for a couple of weeks and it's so good to catch-up and talk of things that should be long forgotten.

6) Let's all spread the good-luck vibe to my friend/neighbor, her family and especially her middle boy. He is a Marine and he is headed to Iraq next week.

7) OK, back to the inane...and, I'm stretching here to come up with a 7th thing. All I can think of is a couple of songs that have been stuck in my head this summer.

For Reasons Unknown by The Killers-For some reason, Brandon Flowers' straining voice puts me in mind of Jeff Buckley or Jim Morrison...which can't be anything but a good thing.

Fluorescent Adolescent by Arctic Monkeys-These lyrics are great, there isn't a bad line. Bonus, the video has clowns! Clowns whooping ass!

Florescent Adolescent
You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Nothing seems as pretty as the past though
That Bloody Mary's lacking a Tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal?

Oh that boy's a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Not as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem
My love when you dream them up...

Flicking through a little book of sex tips
Remember when the boys were all electric?
Now when she tells she's gonna get it
I'm guessing that she'd rather just forget i
Clinging to not getting sentimental
Said she wasn't going but she went still
Likes her gentlemen to not be gentle
Was it a megadobber or a betting pencil?

Oh that boy's a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Weren't as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem
My love when you dream them up
Oh, where did you go?
Where did you go?
Where did you go? Woah.

Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You're not coming back again.

Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You're not coming back again.

You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Started all the naughty nights with niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything's in order in a black hole
Everything was pretty in the past though
That Bloody Mary's lacking in tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal?

Let's Come Together

What is the EU's sex film really selling?

Film Lovers Will Love This features sex, sex and more sex. Erm, what is it selling exactly?

Free Music!

Y'all will remember that I was obsessed with Dog Problems by The Format all last summer. This summer it's your chance...for FREE!

Happy Fourth of July!

Love

your

country.

I haven't forgotten about you, internets!

The Evolution of The Dramatic Squirrel/Chipmunk/Prairie Dog

Oh internets, you crack me up.

And...we have strawberries!

Campaign Ads to Grind to

Please don't mistake this for my official endorsement. I'm still deciding. I'm waiting to see Hillary "poll" dance.(hardy har har)

Hello my Cambodian friends!

If you found yourself here it's probably because you are a fan of Mr. Geoffrey Cain and you are supposed to be at this Details are Sketchy. Who knew I had a Cambodian counterpart?!? I find this incredibly cool and think it would be awesome if we could become "sister blogs" or something! You know, to promote cultural awareness and international goodwill. I must admit that the work that Mr. Cain is doing and the content of the Cambodian Details are Sketchy are much more high-minded than anything you will find here at my little ol' blog. I notified Mr. Cain of the mistake and received a very nice email in return. He seems like a great guy doing some great work. So, good luck and best wishes to all of y'all. Come visit me again sometime.

Now, to my usual small cadre of readers...go check 'em out and smarten up yourself about the world.

SiCKO

I am anxiously awaiting Michael Moore's expose of the clusterf@ck that is the American health care system.

Better get on the boat now...

Or risk becoming one of the "BenditlikeBeckhamistas". OK so, I stole this from Possum's blog...but I couldn't pass up such a good opportunity to try to convert my peeps and save them from such a terrible fate.

You can't say I'm not doing my part for the cause. Possum and I have scoured the area for any place where soccer fans might congregate...but to no avail. I know that there are some out there. I'm sure that there are many in the Hispanic community. And, I personally have met a whopping two...count 'em...TWO Liverpool fans since I have lived in Fayetteville. I've decided to be proactive, just see if there is any interest. No luck yet.

Feel...so, so...lonely.

Memorial Day in America

Keyword Analysis

Here's a list of the words that folks Googled that recently lead them to Details Are Sketchy. I'm not sure what it says about my blog...but, hell...what does it say about the folks doing the searching? I feel sorry that they ended up here where there is precious little information pertinent to anything. I hope they found what they were looking for in the end. But, what the hay...mine as well use these poor lost souls searches for our own amusement.

Most of y'all already know what nonsense to expect when you come for a visit. Here's some folks that obviously didn't. But, they say seek and ye shall find. I don't know about that...here's a list of the words searched, I've linked it to the post they got in return just in case you are curious.

• sooie deliverance: I'm pretty sure that this person was searching for a certain scene from a certain movie. Sorry, no homosexual hillbilly rape here...yet.
  

• details are sketchy verily: Well, it looks like at least someone knew what they were getting. One of y'all must have lost your link.
  

• bubba hog woo pig: Razorback fan
  

• who's wayne: Now, that's just weird.
  

• gully park fayetteville ar: I hope they enjoyed the pretty picture. I bet they were looking for the concerts, though. It's that time of the year again, yay!
  

• feet are throbbing: I hope this person wasn't in need of medical advice.

• talking with mouth full fetish: Wha??? Is this an actual fetish? By the very definition of a fetish, it would mean that one could not become sexually aroused without...talking with their mouth full? Or, would it be that their partner would have to talk with their mouth full? Full of w h a t, exactly? I'm not sure why The Google thought I would know anything about this. I'm curious...yet sorta afraid of what I might find if I did a little further research. Would it be hypocritical of me to Google this after making fun of this person for Googling it? If anyone has any info, please share.
  

• keep fayetteville funky: Yes, let's.
  

What I did on my trip to Chicago.

Long time no see, internets! I have just now recovered enough to even mention my trip to Chicago last weekend. So here's the high points and the low down.

The Lincoln Park Zoo

Chicago-style deep dish pizza

Visiting with Possum's sister

Watching The FA Cup at The Globe Pub. Having at least five Stellas before noon.

The uber-touristy boat tour of the Chicago river and it's architectural landmark's. This first picture is a picture of me and Possum disembarking.

Eating way too much and drinking a pitcher of sangria at Cafe Iberico & Tapas Bar.

"Shear Madness" at The Chicago Theatre Downstairs. Especially when Tony threw candy at Possum and told him "no whispering!".

Chipotle burritos with a side of Possum's disdain for Chicago, Chicagoans and everything they stand for.

Gasey and Tammy and the joy of flying Southwest. Southwest is to airlines as Bonanza is to restaurants.

Good times, but glad to be home. Here's a picture of the fried catfish I made tonight!

What's Happenin'

• Congratulations Manchester United, Premiership Champions! After the draw against Arsenal this morning, there is just no way for Chelsea to catch 'em. I'm happy because I'm a Man Yoo fan, I like the players and their style of play is exciting(for the most part). Yet, I'm pretty disappointed that rivalry has been put to bed for the season. I adore Jose Mourinho, Chelsea's coach, and I don't like anything that encourages the rumors that he might be leaving. Chelsea fought hard, I want to see what Jose can do with them next season.

• Also, in football news...Forget Manchester United, Forget Chelsea...next season it's all about the promoted Sunderland and mean Roy Keane! Woo Hoo!

• In addition to being obsessed with the waning EPL season...Possum and I have been enjoying Soul Train reruns with the smove, smove Don Cornelius. Gotta love polyester!

• The saga of the name change is over, but the tediousness of notifying everyone who needs to be notified lingers on. But, the important thing is that my son and I both officially have my maiden name now. Yay!

• No strawberries yet, but they are coming right along. One basket looks great, but the other looks a little sad.

• Nicolas Sarkozy is the new President of France. I was rooting for the socialist woman. It's more fun saying Segolene Royal.
  

• I got an iPod Shuffle! Pink, of course.

• I just started reading A Miracle of Catfish by Larry Brown.

• I got bangs cut and I'm blonder.

So, that's the lowdown. Enjoy your Sunday evening. It's my girlie night...my neighbor and I watch Desperate Housewives and paint our toenails ;-)

Sadly, all we can do is pass along the truth...

and hope someday there is enough hollering to drown out the lies.

Read this.

Watch this.

Then tell somebody.

When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.

(Thanks to Possum for passing along the awesomeness.)

Dan Le Sac VS Scroobius Pip

Thou Shalt Always Kill

Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile… Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thall shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thall shalt not buy Coca-Cola products. Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoakes.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you're done just because you’ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just ’cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you’re never gonna fucking talk to.

Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.


The Beatles - Were just a band.
Led Zepplin - Just a band.
The Beach Boys - Just a band.
The Sex Pistols - Just a band.
The Clash - Just a band.
Crass - Just a band.
Minor Threat - Just a band.
The Cure - Just a band.
The Smiths - Just a band.
Nirvana - Just a band.
The Pixies - Just a band.
Oasis - Just a band.
Radiohead - Just a band.
Bloc Party - Just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys - Just a band.
The next big thing - JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.


Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.
When I say “Hip” thou shalt not say “Hop”.
When I say "he say, she say, we say, make some noise" - kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “Pheonix” P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying “Is it”.
Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always kill.

Tagged

I've been tagged! Fortunately for me I haven't blogged in a while, so I shouldn't have too hard of a time coming up with some random bull sh*t...

1. As a matter of fact, my first two initials are B.S. and that secretly pleases me. I also tend to like bands with the initials BS...Big Smith, Belle & Sebastian. Mere coincidence?

2. I'm not a fan of the sensible shoe. The soles of my feet are throbbing right now from being scrunched in the cutest pair of heels all day.

3. In the past seven days I have had an extended phone conversation and one e-mail correspondence with my ex-husband, whom I had not spoken to or seen in over 4 1/2 years...up until last Wednesday. It was good, and by good I mean that...ya know, if someday my future self looks back and wonders if I made the right decision...well, lets just say that my future self won't ever do that. Understand?

4. I also had another meander down memory lane last weekend. I was going through an overlooked box retrieved from my parent's house and I came across my journal from 1987, age 12. I remembered such disturbing things as a troubling fascination with Kirk Cameron(I had blocked that one out), rather schizophrenic body image issues(from the same entry..."Easter! I think I looked gorgeous" and "Even after all the make-up, I look terrible today!" I'm frightened to think about what all the make-up meant in 1987.), lots of hateful entries directed at my little sister; I knew she was reading my journal every chance she got("My little sister is being a big brat. She is always pestering me! So, I threw a cold wet rag on her when she was in the bathtub. She got mad and said it gave her the hiccups. Ha Ha 2 points for me!") Yep, that's a goldmine we may have to revisit later.

5. Inside the journal were all of my school IDs from 7th-10th grade and a school picture of the first boy to tell me he loved me. My 8 year old made fun of me.

6. A month from today, Possum and I will be in Chicago!

7. I'm growing strawberries in hanging baskets.

8. I'm currently reading Him Her Him Again The End of Him by Patricia Marx and this bit, referring to a friend's new boyfriend, is the best thing I have read in a long time..."You'd think that I, of all people, would have been sympathetic to someone enthralled with a guy who nobody considered enthrall-worthy. You'd think, but you'd be wrong."

9. From the same book, I read this part yesterday. It is referring to a friend who just dumped a worthless boyfriend. I found it perhaps more significant and timely given the media's non-stop discussion of the possible motives of the Virginia Tech murderer. "Why she took action at that point, which wasn't even the lowest point, I cannot tell you. For that matter, why does anyone wake up one morning and finally clean out the crawlspace or shoot the boss or quit the tuba or propose marriage or throw in the towel or run for alderman or make any other long-intended change?"

10. For lunch, I had a Lean Cuisine Chicken, Spinach & Mushroom Panini. It was surprisingly good. I was worried that microwaved bread would be grody, but it wasn't at all.

A Ho By Any Other Name...

Tomorrow morning I will go before a judge and I will be made a new woman. I'm officially having my name changed back to my maiden name, finally. So, I guess actually I'll just be the same old woman I once was...but, that doesn't sound nearly as cool. Most of y'all know what to call me.

Speaking of calling names...I just want to take a moment to say that Imus is ucking fugly...no, wait...Lent is over...he's plain old fucking ugly, he has no discernible talent beyond criticizing people and in fact, if I ever find myself in a situation where I feel that I am about to be overcome by sexual desire...I have only to think the name "Imus" to effectively squelch my libido for at least 45 minutes to an hour. I dare not do it, but I would imagine the thought of him unclothed would be enough to spontaneously stimulate my gag reflex and just might put me off sex for several months.

I encourage others to make random, abusive comments about Imus, too. Post them as a comment, post it on your blog, call your grandmother, hang up fliers, send up smoke signals. But, just for one day only...then let's move on with our lives and forget this man ever existed. It really isn't so hard to just do what your mama taught you and remember...

"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all!"

Happy Easter

Hope everyone is having a good one! Possum, My Boy and I did the Easter egg hunt thing, then turned them into 'tater salad. We grilled out, planted begonia bulbs and froze. Ah, springtime in Arkansas!

*Breaking News*

My sources(my daddy, Possum and 40/29) have unconfirmed reports that Dana Altman, the world-famous head-coach of Creighton and brand spankin' new head-coach of Arkansas, has had a change of heart and is heading back to Nebraska. The UofA hasn't confirmed anything. The Hogwired.com headline is still the transcript of the press conference yesterday, when he accepted the position as Arkansas' head coach.

Since nothing is confirmed, it seems like a good time to scrounge up articles from yesterday with gems like this:

"I'm 48 years old," Altman said. "And with your permission I'd like to finish my career at the University of Arkansas."

It's also a good time for wild, unsubstantiated rumors:

The reason the press conference was held yesterday, before Altman had officially signed a contract, was because Frank Broyles was in a hurry to get to Augusta for The Masters .

The reason for all the upheaval now is because Billy Donovan of Florida is upset that Arkansas didn't wait for him to finish winning the NCAA tournament to offer him the job.

Well, perhaps that second one is a little hard to swallow...even as a wild, unsubstantiated rumor started by my daddy on the phone a few moments ago.

Now, for the most important basketball news...my bracket WON my group in the Yahoo NCAA Tournament Pick'em! I was in the 88% for all of Yahoo! Of course, I didn't have any money riding on it or I NEVER would have won. So yeah, bragging was pretty much the whole point of this basketball post.

Ohhh...THAT Wayne

Yes, I realize that having someone describe their dream to you is like being made to look through a stranger's vacation pictures...but, humor me.

In Dreamland last night, I find myself on the street where I grew up. It's dark and still and almost dawn. I'm walking across and up the street when a girl, an amalgamation of every neighborhood girl I ever knew, appears beside me. "Are you going to see Wayne?" she asks. Going to see Wayne??? Sure! That must be what I'm doing. "Yeah, I'm going to see Wayne." I reply. Wayne? Who's Wayne? Could it be Wayne, the big brother of my 5th grade "boyfriend" who lived next door to me circa 1984-1987??? Nah, couldn't be...I wouldn't be crossing the street and I'm heading in the wrong direction for it to be THAT Wayne. My slumbering brain peruses it's various nooks and crannies for Waynes...Wayne...hmmm...do I know any more Waynes? Maybe it's that doctor who's first name is Wayne, I saw his name on a piece of paper today, remember? Couldn't be...I've never met him. No way would I be visiting him in the middle of the night...besides...he's in Fayetteville and I'm in Pine Bluff for this dream, duh. Okay, but better figure it out quick 'cause he's opening the door...Wayne? Wayne? He's youngish, fair complected...I know! ROONEY! That's who it is! It's Wayne Rooney, striker for Manchester United and England's National Team! Why, of course...my dreaming mind decides...the most likely conclusion is that Wayne Rooney is living in the Wilouby's old house and I'm just gonna pop in for a little visit at 4:30 in the morning.

Yep, indeed...that's what I went with.

So, after Wayne opens the door and he is in fact sorta Rooney-ish, Amalgam Girl says whatever she has come to say and leaves. The rest of the dream is a series of vivid images of me and Wayne hanging out for the rest of the morning. From these images I learned a lot about the Rooney of my subconscious. For instance, Wayne leaves his Man U kit crumpled in the dirty laundry basket. (Seeing this was what finally convinced me that this dream person really was who I thought he was...I could see his name on the back! Right on!) Wayne can poke a hole in a water bed mattress with his index finger. (Did you know Wayne sleeps on a water bed? He does in my world. And, that's how he convinced me it really was a water bed. My dream self was incredulous.) Wayne can make a fancy outdoor fire pit out of an old wheelbarrow. (I was angry and chastised him because NOW my Daddy was going to have to do a whole bunch of yard work without his wheelbarrow! Way to go, Wayne. He didn't even ask first!)

My cellphone had just become infected with some sort of cellphone virus and Wayne was going to go with me to get it fixed when my alarm went off. I guess we will never know what adventures awaited me and Wayne at the Cingular store.

I know you are as disappointed as I am.

You Go, Girl

This is truly awesome...Pervs caught in the act. It's like a freak directory! I wonder if these creeps like receiving public humiliation as much as they like dishing it out? Unfortunately, their kind are not contained within NYC. I think it's fair enough to holla back no matter where you are.

**bonus Lent points to me for not cussing in this post, it was tough**

The Big Read

Check out The Big Read: Fayetteville Reads Fahrenheit 451.

I picked up my free copy of Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury at the Fayetteville Public Library and I'm really enjoying it. It's short and not all science-fictiony like I was afraid it would be. In fact, it's terrifyingly relevant. The rules say I gotta pass it along when I'm done...so, holla if you're interested.

Spring Break-The Arkansas Tiny Towns Tour!

Sharing the Love

It's a good day! The weather is lovely, the windows are open and I'm just chillin' with my two new loves.

Xenadrine introduced me to the first one at her wedding shower on Sunday...Kahlua Frosties, a delicious concoction of vanilla ice cream and Kahlua. Mmmm, yummy yummy.

The second is my brand new CD, Jamie T's Panic Prevention that arrived in the mail today!(I've tried to convert y'all before, remember?) I had to order it all the way from Australia, but it's here and it only took 9 days, but I'm so excited and I have been listening to it for about 2 1/2 hours solid and...did I mention...I have been drinking Kahlua Frosties that whole time, too?!?

Yeah, it's a good day.

Love Is a Mix Tape

I actually finished Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time by Rob Sheffield over the weekend, but it's still on my mind. I have even caught myself recommending it to random strangers...so, I guess it's high time I posted something about it here. It's all about love and music and how they get all tangled up so that the music becomes the bookmark for that time in life, that time in love. You don't have to know a thing about alternative 90s music to love this book. You don't have to have a thang for crappy pop culture to love this book(but it helps). I haven't even made that many mix tapes myself, but oh, the memories it brought back of those received. Photos cropped cassette case size for cover art. Play lists analyzed for insight into some boy's soul, sure that somewhere in those selections were clues to how he really felt about me...surely there is some subtle nuance to Bad, Bad Leroy Brown.

I passed it along to Possum, who's knowledge of indie music is much more extensive than mine. He's less than half-way through and he loves it too, so I can confidently recommend it to one and all. I don't want to write much because I want you to be able to have your own experience with it, if you choose to read it. It is so good. And, it's super short. It will only take you a couple of hours to read it, but you won't consider that a plus when you get to the end of it. So, you don't have an excuse...read it. Then write me so we can talk about it or at least share some mix tape memories.

BTW...I'm not so good at the making of the mix tape, but because of this book I have been inspired to at least keep track of the songs that have interested me enough to use as my MySpace profile song. One day it may be interesting to go back and see how these songs "bookmarked" 2007 for me. Check it out...the list is in the sidebar and I have linked all that I could to their YouTube video. Yes, I know that's completely nerdy and obsessive. I blame Possum.

"If You Expect Me to Take My Pants Off..." and other quotes

All of these things were said by me or in my presence over the last few days.

"I'm a sucker for buckles."
(Me---explaining to the salesgirl why I just HAD to have two of the same pair of shoes. One black pair, one red pair, both very cute and completely non-sensible.)

"That's the thing about shopping at Wal-Mart. You may save a hundred bucks, but ya gotta stand in spilt chew to do it."
(Me to Possum---on trying to load our new TV in the car while trying to avoid the dip cup in the parking space next to ours.)

"That passed annoying even before I heard it."
(My Boy---his opinion of Fidelity by Regina Spektor)

"I wasn't that wild about the song until I saw THOSE SHOES!"
(My opinion of Fidelity by Regina Spektor)

"That's the sound of zombies coming to chew on my brain"
(My Boy---his opinion of all the ha ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah in Fidelity by Regina Spector)

"Here in a minute I'm gonna take this water gun and shoot it in my ear. That's when we'll see the real action."
(Possum---on inventing a new process for earwax removal. Please don't try this at home. He's a trained professional.)

"If you expect me to take my pants off, you are going to have to close the window completely!"
(My Boy-on having to change into his soccer uniform in the backseat of the car.)

"Describe y'all in one word? I can do it in three letters...H-O-T. Could I add a modifier? 'Cause if I could, it would be Smokin'...Smokin' HOT!"
(A friend who knows that flattery will get you everywhere---in a conversation about that silly e-mail game "describe me in one word". Thanks for playing, B.)

Spam as Inspiration?

Well, I always thought spam was just annoying...but, when you recite it to animation it seems kinda...evil.

"The dialogue for Spamland comes from the semi-sensical text found in the filter-busting portion of spam messages.

So what to do with those pesky spam emails - we've dramatised them!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwOGbXj9o2c

When you have nothing else to talk about...talk about the weather.

I've heard tell that the weather for the last couple of weeks has been pretty nice, at least the majority of the time. Unfortunately, that majority of the time has coincided perfectly with the days and hours that I am trapped indoors at work. I have enjoyed having the windows open some, and my attitude is much improved by the sunshine and warmer temps.

Last weekend, I went with Possum to "the cabin" for a "guy's weekend". We had lots of fun, even if there were torrential rains and storms the whole time. Still, I got to participate in lots of fun guy activities like shooting hard liquor, eating ribs and watching Jackass Number Two. One of my bestest friends, M, came up to hang out Saturday night. She's a good guy girl. It reminded me of the times we used to go out to dinner to "eat like a man". We would order the Steak AND Shrimp dinners and drink beer. But, even in the throws of testosterone overdrive she would never do something as unseemly as belch. She's a real lady! She also had the best advice for Britney Spears that I have heard. "Her Mama just needs to jerk up her and those babies and take them back down to Louisiana...put her a trailer on their land until she gets back on her feet." I believe that's the Southern equivalent of rehab.

***WARNING***FLAGRANT BRAGGING ALERT***

So, the first game of the "spring" soccer season found me shivering in snow flurries at 8:30am this morning. As bad as I detest the cold, it was all worth it when My Boy scored the first goal of the game within a matter of minutes. He assisted with two more goals as his team went on to stomp the other team! It seems he's a pretty good cold weather player. Hmmm...I wonder, will it be Manchester United or Chelsea??? ;)

Happy Pancake Tuesday!

Or...Mardi Gras or Shrove Tuesday or Fat Tuesday or just plain ol' Tuesday...depending on who or where you are. I usually prefer to do the New Orleans tradition of gumbo, king cake and too much liquor. This year, my son and I stuck to the Anglican tradition and had pancakes! We also had eggs and bacon and just the right amount of red wine (well I did anyways). Fortunately, my church fully endorses both traditions. Next, dessert! I intend to have a big ol' bowl of Shake's...for tomorrow is Ash Wednesday.

Since I became a confirmed Episcopalian several years ago, I have been really good about doing the whole Lent thing. Party it up on Tuesday, fast all day Wednesday, get the ashes on my forehead and give up something till Easter...the whole bit. So, tomorrow it is going to be just toast in the morning and juice and water throughout the day until after sunset. I really appreciate the lesson of Ash Wednesday. Fasting for a day is hardly that great of a sacrifice in the grand scheme of things but by the time that evening service rolls around...I feel like I'm starving! Since my general disposition tends to lean more towards the hedonistic than monk-like austerity, I'll try my best to appreciate my blessings and realize that there are many out there that are truly starving, truly suffering. I also find the Ash Wednesday service to be very poignant, especially when fasting. It's powerfully humbling to have your priest look you in your eyes, smudge ashes on your forehead and tell you "Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return". Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

So, the purpose of this whole entry...I'm giving up cussing and complaining for Lent. Now that it's out there in cyber space I REALLY feel obligated to keep my Lenten Discipline, y'all will all know when I break it! So, you may be asking yourself, what in the world will I have to talk about if I can't cuss or complain...I'm not sure myself. I guess we are about to find out! For the most part my conversations are only mildly peppered with colorful language, and only then in casual settings..I don't think I have offended too many folks. But, this is what my son requested I give up for Lent. He doesn't think it's fair that he would get in trouble for saying some of the things he has occasionally overheard me say, ah hmm. So, I'm doing that for him and because I never want to be labeled a hypocrite. The complaining I am giving up for myself. I'm gonna get real cheesy and quote ya some Maya Angelou, but it pretty much sums up my goal for Lent..."If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." So, yeah...we'll see how that goes. Let's hope I don't explode sometime before spring break.

I bet she got the lice...

Just when you thought Britney Spears couldn't get any more white-trash...

"Yawl, let's awl shave our heads bawld and get tat-tooed!"

The Strangest News Week Ever

Man, this week had a little something for everyone.

The state wide drama has been the throw-down between Arkansas head football coach and the infamous sports columnist Wally Hall. You can listen to Nutt's call-in to "The Buzz"... here.
Read what ESPN has to say...here. Check out what the entire state is saying on the most excellent Arkansas Times blog...here.


Perhaps, the off-season Razorback football soap opera ain't exactly your thang. How about the tragic death of Anna Nicole Smith which has spiraled deep into the abysmal? There's enough controversy surrounding her death to supply All My Children with an entire year worth of plot twists and turns. Who's the baby daddy? Someone needs to get Montel on the case. Is it her attorney/pseudo-husband? Her boyfriend? Zsa Zsa's husband/Prince who long ago proclaimed himself impotent in a Viagra lawsuit? Or, perhaps the frozen sperm of her deceased octogenarian husband? How fortuitous the Popsicle Pop would turn out to be. At least that would finally settle the long battle of his inheritance. Lordy, I think I need a bar graph or pie chart to keep this straight.


So, maybe Hollywood's sensationalizing and shameless milking of the death of a young woman and the ensuing turmoil surrounding her infant daughter doesn't float your boat...how about a female astronaut, a love triangle and adult diapers???

There's even more drama than usual in soccer news. Italy, the World Cup winners, are having a hard time after fan violence resulted in the death of a policeman. But that's not all, folks...QPR couldn't avoid a brawl during a game with the Chinese...WTF???

Off course, there are plenty of folks out there decrying all this attention to the sensational...for instance...here and here. But still, isn't there a war going on? Aren't there folks announcing their candidacy for the Presidency? Don't even get me started on that...I don't want to hear jack about what you are going to do in two years if you win...I want to know what the f*ck you are going to do NOW! Or did I miss something, weren't you already elected to do a job??? I'm talking to you, Hilary and Barack! Tell ya what, when the election rolls around...I'm voting for whoever shows me something more than a campaign...so GET BUSY!

So, that's it...just me propagating the smokescreen until we see something REAL.

Because, who doesn't enjoy making fun of strangers?

He Looks Like...

Looks like it's been a while since they updated their site...but, with insightful comments like these I just couldn't resist sharing.

"He looks like the best years of his life were spent as a roadie for Lynard Skynard, when rock n' roll was his soul, whiskey was his blood and the opening chords of "Freebird" made his testicles shudder with pure sappy sentiment."

"Alton drives around town in a brown 1990 Datsun hatchback covered in hundreds of bumper stickers."

"He looks like Pablo, an attendee at Ricky Martin's Learning Annex Workshop, "Advanced Techniques for the Pleasing of the Ladies.""

Good stuff.

Winter Things

I know, I know...it's been a while, but it's been busy! Today is a snow day so we got sent home at 1pm. Good, I needed some laundry time. And, some time to catch y'all up on things other than laundry.

Friday was my birthday! Possum and I had a date, a real, grown-up date! We went out to eat, I of course had to have a yummy, creamy margarita. Then we went to a movie! Yes, it really is that exciting! It was the first time we had gone to a grown up movie, all by ourselves, like a real couple. The best part was that we actually got to see the movie we both really wanted to see, too. It wasn't looking like Pan's Labyrinth was going to be coming to Fayetteville, but we lucked out. It was nominated for an Academy Award, so Fiesta Square 16 granted it one whole screen starting Friday night, because it's "select". Hey, at least their trying and their timing was perfect. This movie is AWESOME. It was everything I expected and much more...by "much more" I mean brutally gruesome. Seriously, I watched several scenes from between my fingers. Still, if you have the chance to go see it...jump on it. Especially if, as a child, you preferred Grimm's fairy tales to Disney's.

Saturday, I helped my little sister move to Houston. I'm gonna miss her :( Still didn't stop me from cussing her when she handed me a box full of de-icer and ice scrapers and said "I won't be needing these where I'm going". The bitch. (Meanwhile, the snow keeps coming and the traffic crawls carefully by outside my window, temperature 25F) Later Saturday evening, some of the gang got together for dinner and drinks at Powerhouse Seafood and did a little of that Dickson Street thang. I had a really good time! Just in case you ever wondered, here's what a "date" between Dr. Performance and Yecinda would look like...

You know you know THAT guy...

If you don't, that means it's YOU!

"If You've Got the Money" by Jamie T

Loads of Bushy Goodness

If you haven't already...you MUST go to The Onion and check out

Six Years of George W. Bush: A Celebration of Courage .

Just some good-natured ribbing of our most esteemed President:

Bush Hides U.S. Report Card In Sock Drawer

CRAWFORD, TX—According to White House sources, following yet another disappointing grading period for the nation he leads, President Bush hid the national report card in his bedroom sock drawer Monday.

But, wait! There's more!

When I'm Feeling Blue, I Can Always Go To My Undisclosed Location