Tomorrow morning I will go before a judge and I will be made a new woman. I'm officially having my name changed back to my maiden name, finally. So, I guess actually I'll just be the same old woman I once was...but, that doesn't sound nearly as cool. Most of y'all know what to call me.
Speaking of calling names...I just want to take a moment to say that Imus is ucking fugly...no, wait...Lent is over...he's plain old fucking ugly, he has no discernible talent beyond criticizing people and in fact, if I ever find myself in a situation where I feel that I am about to be overcome by sexual desire...I have only to think the name "Imus" to effectively squelch my libido for at least 45 minutes to an hour. I dare not do it, but I would imagine the thought of him unclothed would be enough to spontaneously stimulate my gag reflex and just might put me off sex for several months.
I encourage others to make random, abusive comments about Imus, too. Post them as a comment, post it on your blog, call your grandmother, hang up fliers, send up smoke signals. But, just for one day only...then let's move on with our lives and forget this man ever existed. It really isn't so hard to just do what your mama taught you and remember...
"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all!"
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