Happy Pancake Tuesday!

Or...Mardi Gras or Shrove Tuesday or Fat Tuesday or just plain ol' Tuesday...depending on who or where you are. I usually prefer to do the New Orleans tradition of gumbo, king cake and too much liquor. This year, my son and I stuck to the Anglican tradition and had pancakes! We also had eggs and bacon and just the right amount of red wine (well I did anyways). Fortunately, my church fully endorses both traditions. Next, dessert! I intend to have a big ol' bowl of Shake's...for tomorrow is Ash Wednesday.

Since I became a confirmed Episcopalian several years ago, I have been really good about doing the whole Lent thing. Party it up on Tuesday, fast all day Wednesday, get the ashes on my forehead and give up something till Easter...the whole bit. So, tomorrow it is going to be just toast in the morning and juice and water throughout the day until after sunset. I really appreciate the lesson of Ash Wednesday. Fasting for a day is hardly that great of a sacrifice in the grand scheme of things but by the time that evening service rolls around...I feel like I'm starving! Since my general disposition tends to lean more towards the hedonistic than monk-like austerity, I'll try my best to appreciate my blessings and realize that there are many out there that are truly starving, truly suffering. I also find the Ash Wednesday service to be very poignant, especially when fasting. It's powerfully humbling to have your priest look you in your eyes, smudge ashes on your forehead and tell you "Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return". Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

So, the purpose of this whole entry...I'm giving up cussing and complaining for Lent. Now that it's out there in cyber space I REALLY feel obligated to keep my Lenten Discipline, y'all will all know when I break it! So, you may be asking yourself, what in the world will I have to talk about if I can't cuss or complain...I'm not sure myself. I guess we are about to find out! For the most part my conversations are only mildly peppered with colorful language, and only then in casual settings..I don't think I have offended too many folks. But, this is what my son requested I give up for Lent. He doesn't think it's fair that he would get in trouble for saying some of the things he has occasionally overheard me say, ah hmm. So, I'm doing that for him and because I never want to be labeled a hypocrite. The complaining I am giving up for myself. I'm gonna get real cheesy and quote ya some Maya Angelou, but it pretty much sums up my goal for Lent..."If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." So, yeah...we'll see how that goes. Let's hope I don't explode sometime before spring break.

I bet she got the lice...

Just when you thought Britney Spears couldn't get any more white-trash...

"Yawl, let's awl shave our heads bawld and get tat-tooed!"

The Strangest News Week Ever

Man, this week had a little something for everyone.

The state wide drama has been the throw-down between Arkansas head football coach and the infamous sports columnist Wally Hall. You can listen to Nutt's call-in to "The Buzz"... here.
Read what ESPN has to say...here. Check out what the entire state is saying on the most excellent Arkansas Times blog...here.


Perhaps, the off-season Razorback football soap opera ain't exactly your thang. How about the tragic death of Anna Nicole Smith which has spiraled deep into the abysmal? There's enough controversy surrounding her death to supply All My Children with an entire year worth of plot twists and turns. Who's the baby daddy? Someone needs to get Montel on the case. Is it her attorney/pseudo-husband? Her boyfriend? Zsa Zsa's husband/Prince who long ago proclaimed himself impotent in a Viagra lawsuit? Or, perhaps the frozen sperm of her deceased octogenarian husband? How fortuitous the Popsicle Pop would turn out to be. At least that would finally settle the long battle of his inheritance. Lordy, I think I need a bar graph or pie chart to keep this straight.


So, maybe Hollywood's sensationalizing and shameless milking of the death of a young woman and the ensuing turmoil surrounding her infant daughter doesn't float your boat...how about a female astronaut, a love triangle and adult diapers???

There's even more drama than usual in soccer news. Italy, the World Cup winners, are having a hard time after fan violence resulted in the death of a policeman. But that's not all, folks...QPR couldn't avoid a brawl during a game with the Chinese...WTF???

Off course, there are plenty of folks out there decrying all this attention to the sensational...for instance...here and here. But still, isn't there a war going on? Aren't there folks announcing their candidacy for the Presidency? Don't even get me started on that...I don't want to hear jack about what you are going to do in two years if you win...I want to know what the f*ck you are going to do NOW! Or did I miss something, weren't you already elected to do a job??? I'm talking to you, Hilary and Barack! Tell ya what, when the election rolls around...I'm voting for whoever shows me something more than a campaign...so GET BUSY!

So, that's it...just me propagating the smokescreen until we see something REAL.

Because, who doesn't enjoy making fun of strangers?

He Looks Like...

Looks like it's been a while since they updated their site...but, with insightful comments like these I just couldn't resist sharing.

"He looks like the best years of his life were spent as a roadie for Lynard Skynard, when rock n' roll was his soul, whiskey was his blood and the opening chords of "Freebird" made his testicles shudder with pure sappy sentiment."

"Alton drives around town in a brown 1990 Datsun hatchback covered in hundreds of bumper stickers."

"He looks like Pablo, an attendee at Ricky Martin's Learning Annex Workshop, "Advanced Techniques for the Pleasing of the Ladies.""

Good stuff.

Winter Things

I know, I know...it's been a while, but it's been busy! Today is a snow day so we got sent home at 1pm. Good, I needed some laundry time. And, some time to catch y'all up on things other than laundry.

Friday was my birthday! Possum and I had a date, a real, grown-up date! We went out to eat, I of course had to have a yummy, creamy margarita. Then we went to a movie! Yes, it really is that exciting! It was the first time we had gone to a grown up movie, all by ourselves, like a real couple. The best part was that we actually got to see the movie we both really wanted to see, too. It wasn't looking like Pan's Labyrinth was going to be coming to Fayetteville, but we lucked out. It was nominated for an Academy Award, so Fiesta Square 16 granted it one whole screen starting Friday night, because it's "select". Hey, at least their trying and their timing was perfect. This movie is AWESOME. It was everything I expected and much more...by "much more" I mean brutally gruesome. Seriously, I watched several scenes from between my fingers. Still, if you have the chance to go see it...jump on it. Especially if, as a child, you preferred Grimm's fairy tales to Disney's.

Saturday, I helped my little sister move to Houston. I'm gonna miss her :( Still didn't stop me from cussing her when she handed me a box full of de-icer and ice scrapers and said "I won't be needing these where I'm going". The bitch. (Meanwhile, the snow keeps coming and the traffic crawls carefully by outside my window, temperature 25F) Later Saturday evening, some of the gang got together for dinner and drinks at Powerhouse Seafood and did a little of that Dickson Street thang. I had a really good time! Just in case you ever wondered, here's what a "date" between Dr. Performance and Yecinda would look like...

You know you know THAT guy...

If you don't, that means it's YOU!

"If You've Got the Money" by Jamie T

Loads of Bushy Goodness

If you haven't already...you MUST go to The Onion and check out

Six Years of George W. Bush: A Celebration of Courage .

Just some good-natured ribbing of our most esteemed President:

Bush Hides U.S. Report Card In Sock Drawer

CRAWFORD, TX—According to White House sources, following yet another disappointing grading period for the nation he leads, President Bush hid the national report card in his bedroom sock drawer Monday.

But, wait! There's more!

When I'm Feeling Blue, I Can Always Go To My Undisclosed Location

Nostalgia

Happy New Year, my friends! 2007! Enjoy every minute of it, time flies.

Oh...and, don't forget to eat you black-eyed peas!

You Ain't Missed Much

Yes, I managed to survive Christmas.

Here's what's been going on:

This is one of the coolest things I got for Christmas. My sister got it for me after shaming me for still using the same college ID case I have had for a decade now. You know things are critical when your lesbian sister is giving you grief about your accessories. Thanks, sis!

This is one of the coolest things I gave this Christmas. I gave Possum the photo book European Fields: The Landscape of Lower League Football, by Hans Van Der Meer. Beautiful photos, even if you aren't a fan.

Random things I have been thinking about:

Patterdale Terriers. A friend has a puppy, aw.

John Terry's back.

President Gerald Ford.

The Gift that Keeps on Giving(NSFW!)

Merry Christmas!

My Favorite Things 2006

OK, here goes, this is my attempt at compiling a list of all(some of) my favorite things from 2006. If I was Oprah I would give you all one of each :-)

(Standard end-of-the-year-list caveat applies; items may pre-date 01/01/06, but this is the year that I became obsessed with them.)

CDs that I played WAY too much: Dog Problems by The Format, The Life Pursuit by Belle & Sebastian

Books I enjoyed: Peyton Amberg by Tama Janowitz, A Very Long Engagement by Sebastien Japrisot , Don't Tell Me the Truth About Love by Dan Rhodes, Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell

DVDs: The Secretary, Trois Coleurs, Footballers Wives

LMAO: Karl Pilkington, (you really should listen to these free pocasts, they usually charge for this nonsense!)

Food Finds: Emelia's Kitchen, Monte Ne

Pamper Me: Apparently, The Secret To Supermodel Skin IS NOT cigarettes and heroin(this stuff is AWESOME!), Chandelier earrings from the $1 jewelry store.

Getaway: To Pasadena, CA with Possum.

The Special One: Jose Mourinho

Soccer Moments: Macclesfield v Walsall, My boy scoring his very first goal, yay!, The entire World Cup, oh and I think Zizou may have headbutted someone or something.

That's all for now. Feel free to remind me of something that I prattled on and on about sometime during the last year. 2006 really ain't been all that bad!

The Christmas Spirits 2006

The Format - Dog Problems

So, Of Montreal might be Dead To ME...On the other hand(bad pun intended), The Format still just tickles me pink!!!

Mighty Big Talk for Someone Doing Outback Commercials

Some of you may remember my infatuation last spring with the band, Of Montreal...especially their song "Wraith Pinned to the Mist (And Other Games)"...which they have since changed the words and turned into an Outback Steakhouse Commercial. Not that there is anything wrong with selling out. But when I learned that in their new album their is a whole track devoted to dissin' Little Rock, well that just earned them a place on my "Dead to Me" list. (Dead To Me list Fall/Winter 2006: 1. Gwen Stefani: Seriously, Gwen, Jr. High Marching band music and yodeling? 2. Arsenal FC: For Arsene Wenger, for Thierry Henry never playing, and for playing bo-ring games just when I was getting interested.)

You can read the whole Pitchfork article here.

But even internet marketing geniuses face day-to-day challenges offline. For instance, Barnes' wife, Nina, lost her hat in Little Rock, Arkansas, inspiring the new Of Montreal track, "Little Rock". What hardship! As previously reported, the song was released yesterday via Polyvinyl as a B-side on the limited edition (2000 copies on blue and yellow wax) seven inch for the Hissing Fauna number "She's a Rejecter".

"Little Rock" documents the incident ("Little Rock, I offered you my heart and you tried to steal Nina's hat. Little Rock, why'd you have to go and do something as stupid as that?") and Of Montreal's subsequent disdain for the location ("We're never coming back to your shitty little town") in a 58-second mostly-acoustic ditty.

Of Montreal without layers upon layers of instrumentation? Believe it, and download the track below. And get ready for the diss track by the Little Rock Chamber of Commerce, hopefully coming to a mixtape near you soon.

And just to remind you, Of Montreal will launch a three-month-long North American tour this January. And out of all these dates, there is not one show scheduled in Little Rock. Walking the walk...we like that.

OK, so like, who goes to Little Rock and DOESN'T expect to get their hat stolen? Gah!

Snow Day

Bubba Hog

Go Hogs, Beat Florida!

(Possum said this is how he imagines my ex-husband.)

Listless

Lately, I have been considering my inability to "list". Tis the season to list, apparently. As the end of the year draws to a close we'll soon be bombarded with "The Best ____ of 2006", "The Worst ____ of 2006", "My Favorite_____ of 2006", ad nauseum. I guess I could actually do a list thing like that...maybe, just maybe, I will. I do keep a calendar/journal of what books I'm reading or songs I'm liking or anything else that particularly catches my fancy at the moment. So, it would just be a matter of looking through that and picking out "The Best". Frankly, that scares me a little bit though. You see, I have this tendency to go a bit overboard with new interests. For instance, some of you may remember "The Great Bluegrass Frenzy of '02" or the time I tried to educate myself about fine wines and nearly ended up a penniless alcoholic. Ah, good times. Not that I don't STILL have a warm place in my heart for Big Smith and Stags' Leap Cab Sav, it's just that once I have moved on I tend to look back at my obsessions with Nelson Ha Ha'ing over my shoulder. There's really no need to have that recorded in a public forum, now is there? And, besides, does anyone really care what I like? No. Everybody else already likes what they like. Seriously, if someone is looking to my preferences for guidance on what's good, cool or quality...just don't.

No matter the time of year though, we have become a "list culture". Some lists are much better than others. (Just spend 5 minutes looking around MySpace for examples of the "others".) Why do folks feel the need to list? Is it simple egotism or is it a tool of self-discovery? Are these lists pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that when put together form a complete, comprehensive picture of the person compiling them? Really? I don't get it. My interests tend to be more like rocks picked up on a creek bed; admired for a moment then tossed over the shoulder, occasionally carried in a pocket, few coveted enough to collect dust on a bookcase. No matter how you look at it...they never fit together to form a complete picture of anything. Maybe I'm just fickle. Maybe I just like the process of learning about new things. I am awfully curious, but I'm also loyal, too. Maybe that's why I don't list. I'm never fenced in by any proclaimed preferences, trapped by any "bests" or "favorites". Perhaps in this particular post I have been a bit enamoured with "quotation marks". Don't get too used to it. Tomorrow...the semi-colon!!!

Bitchgiving

So, I did the Thanksgiving thing with my family. I was grateful. I counted my many blessings. Yadda, yadda. Now, here's some stuff I'm hatin'.

I detest that my four day weekend is over and now it's Monday.

I detest that I have been busy and not keeping up with this here blog the way that I would like.

I detest that I now must begin Christmas shopping.

I detest that none of the pictures Possum and I took at Lights of the Ozarks turned out worth a damn. Here's a good one I didn't take.

I detest that my grandmother just found out she has lung cancer and we don't know what should/could be done about it, yet.

I detest that the Razorbacks lost to LSU. Oh Hogs, why must you break my heart so?

I detest that I didn't get to see one of my bestest friends in the whole world on her birthday. Hope you had a good one, M. I promise to make it up to ya real soon.

It's not Cyber Monday...It's Bitchgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Here's a picture of my dad carving our Thanksgiving turkey, or...er...cutting the shrink wrap off the fried turkey he bought from the BBQ trailer down the road. Yes, I spent the holiday with The Fam in southeast Arkansas. The turkey was delicious and we got to eat a good third of it before our dog Maxx managed to pull the plate off the counter and devour the remainder. Sonsabitches, Bumpasses!

Woo Pig Sooie!!!

It's a HUGE day in NWA as the Razorbacks play host to the Tennessee Volunteers. ESPN College GameDay is even in town! Go Hogs, Beat Tennessee! If for no other reason than "Rocky Top" causes all Arkansans to throw up in their mouths, just a little.

Here's a conversation, overheard in a doctor's office, that illustrates exactly how important this game is and exactly how crazy Razorback fans can be:

Older gentleman explaining why he can't have surgery until after the Arkansas v Tennessee game...

Patient: I gotta be in fightin' form for the Tennessee game. I can't be all laid-up! I was there in 1999 when we beat 'em. Remember, the fans tore down the goal post and carried 'em down to Dickson Street!

Patient's Wife: He cried like a baby; this same man didn't even shed a tear at my mama's funeral!

Go Hogs!