Sadly, all we can do is pass along the truth...

and hope someday there is enough hollering to drown out the lies.

Read this.

Watch this.

Then tell somebody.

When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.

(Thanks to Possum for passing along the awesomeness.)

Dan Le Sac VS Scroobius Pip

Thou Shalt Always Kill

Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile… Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thall shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thall shalt not buy Coca-Cola products. Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoakes.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you're done just because you’ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just ’cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you’re never gonna fucking talk to.

Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.


The Beatles - Were just a band.
Led Zepplin - Just a band.
The Beach Boys - Just a band.
The Sex Pistols - Just a band.
The Clash - Just a band.
Crass - Just a band.
Minor Threat - Just a band.
The Cure - Just a band.
The Smiths - Just a band.
Nirvana - Just a band.
The Pixies - Just a band.
Oasis - Just a band.
Radiohead - Just a band.
Bloc Party - Just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys - Just a band.
The next big thing - JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.


Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music

Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.
When I say “Hip” thou shalt not say “Hop”.
When I say "he say, she say, we say, make some noise" - kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “Pheonix” P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying “Is it”.
Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always kill.

Tagged

I've been tagged! Fortunately for me I haven't blogged in a while, so I shouldn't have too hard of a time coming up with some random bull sh*t...

1. As a matter of fact, my first two initials are B.S. and that secretly pleases me. I also tend to like bands with the initials BS...Big Smith, Belle & Sebastian. Mere coincidence?

2. I'm not a fan of the sensible shoe. The soles of my feet are throbbing right now from being scrunched in the cutest pair of heels all day.

3. In the past seven days I have had an extended phone conversation and one e-mail correspondence with my ex-husband, whom I had not spoken to or seen in over 4 1/2 years...up until last Wednesday. It was good, and by good I mean that...ya know, if someday my future self looks back and wonders if I made the right decision...well, lets just say that my future self won't ever do that. Understand?

4. I also had another meander down memory lane last weekend. I was going through an overlooked box retrieved from my parent's house and I came across my journal from 1987, age 12. I remembered such disturbing things as a troubling fascination with Kirk Cameron(I had blocked that one out), rather schizophrenic body image issues(from the same entry..."Easter! I think I looked gorgeous" and "Even after all the make-up, I look terrible today!" I'm frightened to think about what all the make-up meant in 1987.), lots of hateful entries directed at my little sister; I knew she was reading my journal every chance she got("My little sister is being a big brat. She is always pestering me! So, I threw a cold wet rag on her when she was in the bathtub. She got mad and said it gave her the hiccups. Ha Ha 2 points for me!") Yep, that's a goldmine we may have to revisit later.

5. Inside the journal were all of my school IDs from 7th-10th grade and a school picture of the first boy to tell me he loved me. My 8 year old made fun of me.

6. A month from today, Possum and I will be in Chicago!

7. I'm growing strawberries in hanging baskets.

8. I'm currently reading Him Her Him Again The End of Him by Patricia Marx and this bit, referring to a friend's new boyfriend, is the best thing I have read in a long time..."You'd think that I, of all people, would have been sympathetic to someone enthralled with a guy who nobody considered enthrall-worthy. You'd think, but you'd be wrong."

9. From the same book, I read this part yesterday. It is referring to a friend who just dumped a worthless boyfriend. I found it perhaps more significant and timely given the media's non-stop discussion of the possible motives of the Virginia Tech murderer. "Why she took action at that point, which wasn't even the lowest point, I cannot tell you. For that matter, why does anyone wake up one morning and finally clean out the crawlspace or shoot the boss or quit the tuba or propose marriage or throw in the towel or run for alderman or make any other long-intended change?"

10. For lunch, I had a Lean Cuisine Chicken, Spinach & Mushroom Panini. It was surprisingly good. I was worried that microwaved bread would be grody, but it wasn't at all.

A Ho By Any Other Name...

Tomorrow morning I will go before a judge and I will be made a new woman. I'm officially having my name changed back to my maiden name, finally. So, I guess actually I'll just be the same old woman I once was...but, that doesn't sound nearly as cool. Most of y'all know what to call me.

Speaking of calling names...I just want to take a moment to say that Imus is ucking fugly...no, wait...Lent is over...he's plain old fucking ugly, he has no discernible talent beyond criticizing people and in fact, if I ever find myself in a situation where I feel that I am about to be overcome by sexual desire...I have only to think the name "Imus" to effectively squelch my libido for at least 45 minutes to an hour. I dare not do it, but I would imagine the thought of him unclothed would be enough to spontaneously stimulate my gag reflex and just might put me off sex for several months.

I encourage others to make random, abusive comments about Imus, too. Post them as a comment, post it on your blog, call your grandmother, hang up fliers, send up smoke signals. But, just for one day only...then let's move on with our lives and forget this man ever existed. It really isn't so hard to just do what your mama taught you and remember...

"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all!"

Happy Easter

Hope everyone is having a good one! Possum, My Boy and I did the Easter egg hunt thing, then turned them into 'tater salad. We grilled out, planted begonia bulbs and froze. Ah, springtime in Arkansas!

*Breaking News*

My sources(my daddy, Possum and 40/29) have unconfirmed reports that Dana Altman, the world-famous head-coach of Creighton and brand spankin' new head-coach of Arkansas, has had a change of heart and is heading back to Nebraska. The UofA hasn't confirmed anything. The Hogwired.com headline is still the transcript of the press conference yesterday, when he accepted the position as Arkansas' head coach.

Since nothing is confirmed, it seems like a good time to scrounge up articles from yesterday with gems like this:

"I'm 48 years old," Altman said. "And with your permission I'd like to finish my career at the University of Arkansas."

It's also a good time for wild, unsubstantiated rumors:

The reason the press conference was held yesterday, before Altman had officially signed a contract, was because Frank Broyles was in a hurry to get to Augusta for The Masters .

The reason for all the upheaval now is because Billy Donovan of Florida is upset that Arkansas didn't wait for him to finish winning the NCAA tournament to offer him the job.

Well, perhaps that second one is a little hard to swallow...even as a wild, unsubstantiated rumor started by my daddy on the phone a few moments ago.

Now, for the most important basketball news...my bracket WON my group in the Yahoo NCAA Tournament Pick'em! I was in the 88% for all of Yahoo! Of course, I didn't have any money riding on it or I NEVER would have won. So yeah, bragging was pretty much the whole point of this basketball post.