Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Ohhh...THAT Wayne
In Dreamland last night, I find myself on the street where I grew up. It's dark and still and almost dawn. I'm walking across and up the street when a girl, an amalgamation of every neighborhood girl I ever knew, appears beside me. "Are you going to see Wayne?" she asks. Going to see Wayne??? Sure! That must be what I'm doing. "Yeah, I'm going to see Wayne." I reply. Wayne? Who's Wayne? Could it be Wayne, the big brother of my 5th grade "boyfriend" who lived next door to me circa 1984-1987??? Nah, couldn't be...I wouldn't be crossing the street and I'm heading in the wrong direction for it to be THAT Wayne. My slumbering brain peruses it's various nooks and crannies for Waynes...Wayne...hmmm...do I know any more Waynes? Maybe it's that doctor who's first name is Wayne, I saw his name on a piece of paper today, remember? Couldn't be...I've never met him. No way would I be visiting him in the middle of the night...besides...he's in Fayetteville and I'm in Pine Bluff for this dream, duh. Okay, but better figure it out quick 'cause he's opening the door...Wayne? Wayne? He's youngish, fair complected...I know! ROONEY! That's who it is! It's Wayne Rooney, striker for Manchester United and England's National Team! Why, of course...my dreaming mind decides...the most likely conclusion is that Wayne Rooney is living in the Wilouby's old house and I'm just gonna pop in for a little visit at 4:30 in the morning.
Yep, indeed...that's what I went with.
So, after Wayne opens the door and he is in fact sorta Rooney-ish, Amalgam Girl says whatever she has come to say and leaves. The rest of the dream is a series of vivid images of me and Wayne hanging out for the rest of the morning. From these images I learned a lot about the Rooney of my subconscious. For instance, Wayne leaves his Man U kit crumpled in the dirty laundry basket. (Seeing this was what finally convinced me that this dream person really was who I thought he was...I could see his name on the back! Right on!) Wayne can poke a hole in a water bed mattress with his index finger. (Did you know Wayne sleeps on a water bed? He does in my world. And, that's how he convinced me it really was a water bed. My dream self was incredulous.) Wayne can make a fancy outdoor fire pit out of an old wheelbarrow. (I was angry and chastised him because NOW my Daddy was going to have to do a whole bunch of yard work without his wheelbarrow! Way to go, Wayne. He didn't even ask first!)
My cellphone had just become infected with some sort of cellphone virus and Wayne was going to go with me to get it fixed when my alarm went off. I guess we will never know what adventures awaited me and Wayne at the Cingular store.
I know you are as disappointed as I am.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
You Go, Girl
**bonus Lent points to me for not cussing in this post, it was tough**
The Big Read
I picked up my free copy of Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury at the Fayetteville Public Library and I'm really enjoying it. It's short and not all science-fictiony like I was afraid it would be. In fact, it's terrifyingly relevant. The rules say I gotta pass it along when I'm done...so, holla if you're interested.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Sharing the Love
Xenadrine introduced me to the first one at her wedding shower on Sunday...Kahlua Frosties, a delicious concoction of vanilla ice cream and Kahlua. Mmmm, yummy yummy.
The second is my brand new CD, Jamie T's Panic Prevention that arrived in the mail today!(I've tried to convert y'all before, remember?) I had to order it all the way from Australia, but it's here and it only took 9 days, but I'm so excited and I have been listening to it for about 2 1/2 hours solid and...did I mention...I have been drinking Kahlua Frosties that whole time, too?!?
Yeah, it's a good day.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Love Is a Mix Tape
I passed it along to Possum, who's knowledge of indie music is much more extensive than mine. He's less than half-way through and he loves it too, so I can confidently recommend it to one and all. I don't want to write much because I want you to be able to have your own experience with it, if you choose to read it. It is so good. And, it's super short. It will only take you a couple of hours to read it, but you won't consider that a plus when you get to the end of it. So, you don't have an excuse...read it. Then write me so we can talk about it or at least share some mix tape memories.
BTW...I'm not so good at the making of the mix tape, but because of this book I have been inspired to at least keep track of the songs that have interested me enough to use as my MySpace profile song. One day it may be interesting to go back and see how these songs "bookmarked" 2007 for me. Check it out...the list is in the sidebar and I have linked all that I could to their YouTube video. Yes, I know that's completely nerdy and obsessive. I blame Possum.
"If You Expect Me to Take My Pants Off..." and other quotes
"I'm a sucker for buckles."
(Me---explaining to the salesgirl why I just HAD to have two of the same pair of shoes. One black pair, one red pair, both very cute and completely non-sensible.)
"That's the thing about shopping at Wal-Mart. You may save a hundred bucks, but ya gotta stand in spilt chew to do it."
(Me to Possum---on trying to load our new TV in the car while trying to avoid the dip cup in the parking space next to ours.)
"That passed annoying even before I heard it."
(My Boy---his opinion of Fidelity by Regina Spektor)
"I wasn't that wild about the song until I saw THOSE SHOES!"
(My opinion of Fidelity by Regina Spektor)
"That's the sound of zombies coming to chew on my brain"
(My Boy---his opinion of all the ha ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah in Fidelity by Regina Spector)
"Here in a minute I'm gonna take this water gun and shoot it in my ear. That's when we'll see the real action."
(Possum---on inventing a new process for earwax removal. Please don't try this at home. He's a trained professional.)
"If you expect me to take my pants off, you are going to have to close the window completely!"
(My Boy-on having to change into his soccer uniform in the backseat of the car.)
"Describe y'all in one word? I can do it in three letters...H-O-T. Could I add a modifier? 'Cause if I could, it would be Smokin'...Smokin' HOT!"
(A friend who knows that flattery will get you everywhere---in a conversation about that silly e-mail game "describe me in one word". Thanks for playing, B.)
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Spam as Inspiration?
"The dialogue for Spamland comes from the semi-sensical text found in the filter-busting portion of spam messages.
So what to do with those pesky spam emails - we've dramatised them!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwOGbXj9o2c
When you have nothing else to talk about...talk about the weather.
Last weekend, I went with Possum to "the cabin" for a "guy's weekend". We had lots of fun, even if there were torrential rains and storms the whole time. Still, I got to participate in lots of fun guy activities like shooting hard liquor, eating ribs and watching Jackass Number Two. One of my bestest friends, M, came up to hang out Saturday night. She's a good guy girl. It reminded me of the times we used to go out to dinner to "eat like a man". We would order the Steak AND Shrimp dinners and drink beer. But, even in the throws of testosterone overdrive she would never do something as unseemly as belch. She's a real lady! She also had the best advice for Britney Spears that I have heard. "Her Mama just needs to jerk up her and those babies and take them back down to Louisiana...put her a trailer on their land until she gets back on her feet." I believe that's the Southern equivalent of rehab.
***WARNING***FLAGRANT BRAGGING ALERT***
So, the first game of the "spring" soccer season found me shivering in snow flurries at 8:30am this morning. As bad as I detest the cold, it was all worth it when My Boy scored the first goal of the game within a matter of minutes. He assisted with two more goals as his team went on to stomp the other team! It seems he's a pretty good cold weather player. Hmmm...I wonder, will it be Manchester United or Chelsea??? ;)
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Happy Pancake Tuesday!
Since I became a confirmed Episcopalian several years ago, I have been really good about doing the whole Lent thing. Party it up on Tuesday, fast all day Wednesday, get the ashes on my forehead and give up something till Easter...the whole bit. So, tomorrow it is going to be just toast in the morning and juice and water throughout the day until after sunset. I really appreciate the lesson of Ash Wednesday. Fasting for a day is hardly that great of a sacrifice in the grand scheme of things but by the time that evening service rolls around...I feel like I'm starving! Since my general disposition tends to lean more towards the hedonistic than monk-like austerity, I'll try my best to appreciate my blessings and realize that there are many out there that are truly starving, truly suffering. I also find the Ash Wednesday service to be very poignant, especially when fasting. It's powerfully humbling to have your priest look you in your eyes, smudge ashes on your forehead and tell you "Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return". Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it?
So, the purpose of this whole entry...I'm giving up cussing and complaining for Lent. Now that it's out there in cyber space I REALLY feel obligated to keep my Lenten Discipline, y'all will all know when I break it! So, you may be asking yourself, what in the world will I have to talk about if I can't cuss or complain...I'm not sure myself. I guess we are about to find out! For the most part my conversations are only mildly peppered with colorful language, and only then in casual settings..I don't think I have offended too many folks. But, this is what my son requested I give up for Lent. He doesn't think it's fair that he would get in trouble for saying some of the things he has occasionally overheard me say, ah hmm. So, I'm doing that for him and because I never want to be labeled a hypocrite. The complaining I am giving up for myself. I'm gonna get real cheesy and quote ya some Maya Angelou, but it pretty much sums up my goal for Lent..."If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." So, yeah...we'll see how that goes. Let's hope I don't explode sometime before spring break.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
I bet she got the lice...
"Yawl, let's awl shave our heads bawld and get tat-tooed!"
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The Strangest News Week Ever
The state wide drama has been the throw-down between Arkansas head football coach and the infamous sports columnist Wally Hall. You can listen to Nutt's call-in to "The Buzz"... here.
Read what ESPN has to say...here. Check out what the entire state is saying on the most excellent Arkansas Times blog...here.
Perhaps, the off-season Razorback football soap opera ain't exactly your thang. How about the tragic death of Anna Nicole Smith which has spiraled deep into the abysmal? There's enough controversy surrounding her death to supply All My Children with an entire year worth of plot twists and turns. Who's the baby daddy? Someone needs to get Montel on the case. Is it her attorney/pseudo-husband? Her boyfriend? Zsa Zsa's husband/Prince who long ago proclaimed himself impotent in a Viagra lawsuit? Or, perhaps the frozen sperm of her deceased octogenarian husband? How fortuitous the Popsicle Pop would turn out to be. At least that would finally settle the long battle of his inheritance. Lordy, I think I need a bar graph or pie chart to keep this straight.
So, maybe Hollywood's sensationalizing and shameless milking of the death of a young woman and the ensuing turmoil surrounding her infant daughter doesn't float your boat...how about a female astronaut, a love triangle and adult diapers???
There's even more drama than usual in soccer news. Italy, the World Cup winners, are having a hard time after fan violence resulted in the death of a policeman. But that's not all, folks...QPR couldn't avoid a brawl during a game with the Chinese...WTF???
Off course, there are plenty of folks out there decrying all this attention to the sensational...for instance...here and here. But still, isn't there a war going on? Aren't there folks announcing their candidacy for the Presidency? Don't even get me started on that...I don't want to hear jack about what you are going to do in two years if you win...I want to know what the f*ck you are going to do NOW! Or did I miss something, weren't you already elected to do a job??? I'm talking to you, Hilary and Barack! Tell ya what, when the election rolls around...I'm voting for whoever shows me something more than a campaign...so GET BUSY!
So, that's it...just me propagating the smokescreen until we see something REAL.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Because, who doesn't enjoy making fun of strangers?
Looks like it's been a while since they updated their site...but, with insightful comments like these I just couldn't resist sharing.
"He looks like the best years of his life were spent as a roadie for Lynard Skynard, when rock n' roll was his soul, whiskey was his blood and the opening chords of "Freebird" made his testicles shudder with pure sappy sentiment."Good stuff.
"Alton drives around town in a brown 1990 Datsun hatchback covered in hundreds of bumper stickers."
"He looks like Pablo, an attendee at Ricky Martin's Learning Annex Workshop, "Advanced Techniques for the Pleasing of the Ladies.""
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Winter Things

I know, I know...it's been a while, but it's been busy! Today is a snow day so we got sent home at 1pm. Good, I needed some laundry time. And, some time to catch y'all up on things other than laundry.
Friday was my birthday! Possum and I had a date, a real, grown-up date! We went out to eat, I of course had to have a yummy, creamy margarita. Then we went to a movie! Yes, it really is that exciting! It was the first time we had gone to a grown up movie, all by ourselves, like a real couple. The best part was that we actually got to see the movie we both really wanted to see, too. It wasn't looking like Pan's Labyrinth was going to be coming to Fayetteville, but we lucked out. It was nominated for an Academy Award, so Fiesta Square 16 granted it one whole screen starting Friday night, because it's "select". Hey, at least their trying and their timing was perfect. This movie is AWESOME. It was everything I expected and much more...by "much more" I mean brutally gruesome. Seriously, I watched several scenes from between my fingers. Still, if you have the chance to go see it...jump on it. Especially if, as a child, you preferred Grimm's fairy tales to Disney's.
Saturday, I helped my little sister move to Houston. I'm gonna miss her :( Still didn't stop me from cussing her when she handed me a box full of de-icer and ice scrapers and said "I won't be needing these where I'm going". The bitch. (Meanwhile, the snow keeps coming and the traffic crawls carefully by outside my window, temperature 25F) Later Saturday evening, some of the gang got together for dinner and drinks at Powerhouse Seafood and did a little of that Dickson Street thang. I had a really good time! Just in case you ever wondered, here's what a "date" between Dr. Performance and Yecinda would look like...
Friday, January 19, 2007
You know you know THAT guy...
If you don't, that means it's YOU!
"If You've Got the Money" by Jamie T
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Loads of Bushy Goodness
Six Years of George W. Bush: A Celebration of Courage .
Just some good-natured ribbing of our most esteemed President:
But, wait! There's more!
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Nostalgia
Happy New Year, my friends! 2007! Enjoy every minute of it, time flies.
Oh...and, don't forget to eat you black-eyed peas!Thursday, December 28, 2006
You Ain't Missed Much
Here's what's been going on:
This is one of the coolest things I got for Christmas. My sister got it for me after shaming me for still using the same college ID case I have had for a decade now. You know things are critical when your lesbian sister is giving you grief about your accessories. Thanks, sis!
This is one of the coolest things I gave this Christmas. I gave Possum the photo book European Fields: The Landscape of Lower League Football, by Hans Van Der Meer. Beautiful photos, even if you aren't a fan.
Random things I have been thinking about:
Patterdale Terriers. A friend has a puppy, aw.
John Terry's back.
President Gerald Ford.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
My Favorite Things 2006
(Standard end-of-the-year-list caveat applies; items may pre-date 01/01/06, but this is the year that I became obsessed with them.)
CDs that I played WAY too much: Dog Problems by The Format, The Life Pursuit by Belle & Sebastian
Books I enjoyed: Peyton Amberg by Tama Janowitz, A Very Long Engagement by Sebastien Japrisot , Don't Tell Me the Truth About Love by Dan Rhodes, Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell
DVDs: The Secretary, Trois Coleurs, Footballers Wives
LMAO: Karl Pilkington, (you really should listen to these free pocasts, they usually charge for this nonsense!)
Food Finds: Emelia's Kitchen, Monte Ne
Pamper Me: Apparently, The Secret To Supermodel Skin IS NOT cigarettes and heroin(this stuff is AWESOME!), Chandelier earrings from the $1 jewelry store.
Getaway: To Pasadena, CA with Possum.
The Special One: Jose Mourinho
Soccer Moments: Macclesfield v Walsall, My boy scoring his very first goal, yay!, The entire World Cup, oh and I think Zizou may have headbutted someone or something.


