Ohhh...THAT Wayne

Yes, I realize that having someone describe their dream to you is like being made to look through a stranger's vacation pictures...but, humor me.

In Dreamland last night, I find myself on the street where I grew up. It's dark and still and almost dawn. I'm walking across and up the street when a girl, an amalgamation of every neighborhood girl I ever knew, appears beside me. "Are you going to see Wayne?" she asks. Going to see Wayne??? Sure! That must be what I'm doing. "Yeah, I'm going to see Wayne." I reply. Wayne? Who's Wayne? Could it be Wayne, the big brother of my 5th grade "boyfriend" who lived next door to me circa 1984-1987??? Nah, couldn't be...I wouldn't be crossing the street and I'm heading in the wrong direction for it to be THAT Wayne. My slumbering brain peruses it's various nooks and crannies for Waynes...Wayne...hmmm...do I know any more Waynes? Maybe it's that doctor who's first name is Wayne, I saw his name on a piece of paper today, remember? Couldn't be...I've never met him. No way would I be visiting him in the middle of the night...besides...he's in Fayetteville and I'm in Pine Bluff for this dream, duh. Okay, but better figure it out quick 'cause he's opening the door...Wayne? Wayne? He's youngish, fair complected...I know! ROONEY! That's who it is! It's Wayne Rooney, striker for Manchester United and England's National Team! Why, of course...my dreaming mind decides...the most likely conclusion is that Wayne Rooney is living in the Wilouby's old house and I'm just gonna pop in for a little visit at 4:30 in the morning.

Yep, indeed...that's what I went with.

So, after Wayne opens the door and he is in fact sorta Rooney-ish, Amalgam Girl says whatever she has come to say and leaves. The rest of the dream is a series of vivid images of me and Wayne hanging out for the rest of the morning. From these images I learned a lot about the Rooney of my subconscious. For instance, Wayne leaves his Man U kit crumpled in the dirty laundry basket. (Seeing this was what finally convinced me that this dream person really was who I thought he was...I could see his name on the back! Right on!) Wayne can poke a hole in a water bed mattress with his index finger. (Did you know Wayne sleeps on a water bed? He does in my world. And, that's how he convinced me it really was a water bed. My dream self was incredulous.) Wayne can make a fancy outdoor fire pit out of an old wheelbarrow. (I was angry and chastised him because NOW my Daddy was going to have to do a whole bunch of yard work without his wheelbarrow! Way to go, Wayne. He didn't even ask first!)

My cellphone had just become infected with some sort of cellphone virus and Wayne was going to go with me to get it fixed when my alarm went off. I guess we will never know what adventures awaited me and Wayne at the Cingular store.

I know you are as disappointed as I am.

You Go, Girl

This is truly awesome...Pervs caught in the act. It's like a freak directory! I wonder if these creeps like receiving public humiliation as much as they like dishing it out? Unfortunately, their kind are not contained within NYC. I think it's fair enough to holla back no matter where you are.

**bonus Lent points to me for not cussing in this post, it was tough**

The Big Read

Check out The Big Read: Fayetteville Reads Fahrenheit 451.

I picked up my free copy of Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury at the Fayetteville Public Library and I'm really enjoying it. It's short and not all science-fictiony like I was afraid it would be. In fact, it's terrifyingly relevant. The rules say I gotta pass it along when I'm done...so, holla if you're interested.

Spring Break-The Arkansas Tiny Towns Tour!

Sharing the Love

It's a good day! The weather is lovely, the windows are open and I'm just chillin' with my two new loves.

Xenadrine introduced me to the first one at her wedding shower on Sunday...Kahlua Frosties, a delicious concoction of vanilla ice cream and Kahlua. Mmmm, yummy yummy.

The second is my brand new CD, Jamie T's Panic Prevention that arrived in the mail today!(I've tried to convert y'all before, remember?) I had to order it all the way from Australia, but it's here and it only took 9 days, but I'm so excited and I have been listening to it for about 2 1/2 hours solid and...did I mention...I have been drinking Kahlua Frosties that whole time, too?!?

Yeah, it's a good day.

Love Is a Mix Tape

I actually finished Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time by Rob Sheffield over the weekend, but it's still on my mind. I have even caught myself recommending it to random strangers...so, I guess it's high time I posted something about it here. It's all about love and music and how they get all tangled up so that the music becomes the bookmark for that time in life, that time in love. You don't have to know a thing about alternative 90s music to love this book. You don't have to have a thang for crappy pop culture to love this book(but it helps). I haven't even made that many mix tapes myself, but oh, the memories it brought back of those received. Photos cropped cassette case size for cover art. Play lists analyzed for insight into some boy's soul, sure that somewhere in those selections were clues to how he really felt about me...surely there is some subtle nuance to Bad, Bad Leroy Brown.

I passed it along to Possum, who's knowledge of indie music is much more extensive than mine. He's less than half-way through and he loves it too, so I can confidently recommend it to one and all. I don't want to write much because I want you to be able to have your own experience with it, if you choose to read it. It is so good. And, it's super short. It will only take you a couple of hours to read it, but you won't consider that a plus when you get to the end of it. So, you don't have an excuse...read it. Then write me so we can talk about it or at least share some mix tape memories.

BTW...I'm not so good at the making of the mix tape, but because of this book I have been inspired to at least keep track of the songs that have interested me enough to use as my MySpace profile song. One day it may be interesting to go back and see how these songs "bookmarked" 2007 for me. Check it out...the list is in the sidebar and I have linked all that I could to their YouTube video. Yes, I know that's completely nerdy and obsessive. I blame Possum.

"If You Expect Me to Take My Pants Off..." and other quotes

All of these things were said by me or in my presence over the last few days.

"I'm a sucker for buckles."
(Me---explaining to the salesgirl why I just HAD to have two of the same pair of shoes. One black pair, one red pair, both very cute and completely non-sensible.)

"That's the thing about shopping at Wal-Mart. You may save a hundred bucks, but ya gotta stand in spilt chew to do it."
(Me to Possum---on trying to load our new TV in the car while trying to avoid the dip cup in the parking space next to ours.)

"That passed annoying even before I heard it."
(My Boy---his opinion of Fidelity by Regina Spektor)

"I wasn't that wild about the song until I saw THOSE SHOES!"
(My opinion of Fidelity by Regina Spektor)

"That's the sound of zombies coming to chew on my brain"
(My Boy---his opinion of all the ha ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah in Fidelity by Regina Spector)

"Here in a minute I'm gonna take this water gun and shoot it in my ear. That's when we'll see the real action."
(Possum---on inventing a new process for earwax removal. Please don't try this at home. He's a trained professional.)

"If you expect me to take my pants off, you are going to have to close the window completely!"
(My Boy-on having to change into his soccer uniform in the backseat of the car.)

"Describe y'all in one word? I can do it in three letters...H-O-T. Could I add a modifier? 'Cause if I could, it would be Smokin'...Smokin' HOT!"
(A friend who knows that flattery will get you everywhere---in a conversation about that silly e-mail game "describe me in one word". Thanks for playing, B.)

Spam as Inspiration?

Well, I always thought spam was just annoying...but, when you recite it to animation it seems kinda...evil.

"The dialogue for Spamland comes from the semi-sensical text found in the filter-busting portion of spam messages.

So what to do with those pesky spam emails - we've dramatised them!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwOGbXj9o2c

When you have nothing else to talk about...talk about the weather.

I've heard tell that the weather for the last couple of weeks has been pretty nice, at least the majority of the time. Unfortunately, that majority of the time has coincided perfectly with the days and hours that I am trapped indoors at work. I have enjoyed having the windows open some, and my attitude is much improved by the sunshine and warmer temps.

Last weekend, I went with Possum to "the cabin" for a "guy's weekend". We had lots of fun, even if there were torrential rains and storms the whole time. Still, I got to participate in lots of fun guy activities like shooting hard liquor, eating ribs and watching Jackass Number Two. One of my bestest friends, M, came up to hang out Saturday night. She's a good guy girl. It reminded me of the times we used to go out to dinner to "eat like a man". We would order the Steak AND Shrimp dinners and drink beer. But, even in the throws of testosterone overdrive she would never do something as unseemly as belch. She's a real lady! She also had the best advice for Britney Spears that I have heard. "Her Mama just needs to jerk up her and those babies and take them back down to Louisiana...put her a trailer on their land until she gets back on her feet." I believe that's the Southern equivalent of rehab.

***WARNING***FLAGRANT BRAGGING ALERT***

So, the first game of the "spring" soccer season found me shivering in snow flurries at 8:30am this morning. As bad as I detest the cold, it was all worth it when My Boy scored the first goal of the game within a matter of minutes. He assisted with two more goals as his team went on to stomp the other team! It seems he's a pretty good cold weather player. Hmmm...I wonder, will it be Manchester United or Chelsea??? ;)